Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Saying Goodbye. Saying Hello.
It's an odd feeling, leaving the old behind. Indescribable, yet at times so tangible. Descriptions perched on the tip of my tongue, like a skilled but nervous diver on the edge of the high board, squinting at the ant-like people below. Waiting, just waiting. I want to tell you what it feels like and then in a moment it's gone. Jumped off the board or climbed down the ladder. Either way. Please understand... this is not a bad thing. The complete opposite. I want more. More of being on the edge. More of seeing how close I can get before I realize the outcome of the high diver. Which end was chosen? I smile either way. If I can explain it, I open. If I can't, I open. Either way I win. The word open has taken on a new meaning. A physical feeling inside my chest. The fourth chakra. A game I play with my self. Can I feel the energy eminating from behind the thick milky colured sternum? If I can't, I simply open. It's another win win situation.
This new found awareness is causing crows feet form around my eyes in the best way possible. Muscles in my face, around my mouth, in my lips, my cheeks, small delicate fibers I had forgotten about are getting a work out of their very own. Words that sat idle in my mind are being used with gusto. Glorious being a favorite of late. I can't help it I want to say to everyone I see. I can't help it. I finally feel like I understand why life is beautiful. And that realization, that real realization of the realist sort is so very evident on my face and I love every minute of it.
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